Life after death
by elf2dragon
Summary: What happens when Sherlock Holmes walks again on the streets of Baker street? Everyone saw him die but still he's there. Is John gonna tell him the truth about his feelings? Is Sherlock ready to face the anger of his friend?
1. Chapter 1

This is the first time I publish something that I wrote. Please excuse my mistakes. English is not my native language but I tried! I hope you like it :)

* * *

"It's been four months now Sherlock, please try to get over this...". Mrs Hudson was really worried about Sherlock. He wasn't eating or sleeping, he

was barely speaking and it was like, he was lost on his own world, where noone else has been before and noone was aloud to enter. He used to get

up from bed every morning and take a sit in front of the small window of his room. He stood there staring at the road of Baker street without talking or

moving at all. He was lost. He was sitting there day and night waiting for something or someone... Mrs Hudson used to take him to bed and turn the

lights of in order to sleep. But he wasn't sleeping. He couldn't. He had this nightmare, every time he closed his eyes. It was him... John. John was his

nightmare. "You're not worthy of my friendship Sherlock. You're not worthy of my love and protection. You want to get killed?That's what you want?

Fine. You can do whatever you desire. I'm leaving, I won't bother you anymore" , he said and he walked out of the door. That was the last thing he

ever heard from him. The house of 221b in Baker street had never been quiter before. "He's gone and it was all my fault. Yes it's your fault Sherlock

Holmes" he used to say. "Please John, come back..." Sherlock wanted to scream. He wanted his friend back, his brother. But after all he was Sherlock

Holmes and Sherlock Holmes couldn't apologize to anyone for any reason...

* * *

John was laying on the bed of a small hotel room on the other side of London. He was trying to put his thoughts in order once again when the phone

rung. "Excuse me sir, there's a lady on the line. She wish to speak to you. She says it's important" The receptionist was waiting for him patiently. A

woman?Asking for him? Noone knew where he was. " Uhm... put her on the line please". The girl pressed some buttons and hung up the phone.

Moments later John was able to hear his caller's voice. "John, my boy, is that you?" the voice was so familiar. " Mrs Hudson!? How did you find me?" He

was really surprised and happy to hear to this woman's voice after all this time. " John dear, you told me once that this was you favorite hotel because

it's quiet and cozy. I remember everything you see! I knew where to find you all along". Her voice was breaking down. She seemed like she was crying.

"Is there everything ok Mrs Hudson? Is...Is Sherlock alright?" He started to worry. " Listen John, dear. I would never bother you if it wasn't important

and you know that very well. No, he's not ok. How could he be? After all this time and still he's not fine. Please my boy, come back home!" She was

begging him, he could tell. "Mrs Hudson...is there anything else you wish to tell me?" He couldn't go back, not yet. " I understand", said the woman,

"that you're still angry with him. I do. But he needs you John. He really needs you. He misses you, I can see that. He misses you my boy! He would ask

you to forgive him if he could..." The woman was definatelly crying now. Things were out of hand, he had to do something. " I'll come and see you

tomorrow morning mrs Hudson but please don't talk about this to Sherlock. I don't want to see him yet. I just want to talk to you, ok?Please" It was

the least he could do for this poor woman. He loved her like he did his mother. " I'll be there at nine. Make sure you have some of this lovely cake of

yours! I missed it!" He tried to make her smile and she did. "I'll be waiting for you son. I'll be waiting..."


	2. Chapter 2

He walked out of the hotel room and stood by the door for a minute. Was it a good idea? He wanted to go back but not like this. He

had to hide from Sherlock, he had to be quiet and careful. He took a deep breath. "Maybe I'll make a walk first before I go" he thought

and headed to the stairs. He waved at the receptionist as he was leaving and she looked at him surprised. It was only 7:30am. "She

must think I'm crazy going out so early in this weather" he laughed. "...And she's right, I am crazy..." It wasn't raining anymore but the

humidity in the air made it hard for him to breath. Thick fog was covering everything and he had to look down on his legs to walk

without falling into something or even someone. He put his hands deeper in his pockets. "Come on John, it's not that cold. You've seen

worse!" He walked and walked for several minutes but when he saw the door of 221b in Baker street he stopped. He stood behing a

tree and stared at the door. He wanted to run, open that door and rush into the stairs to Sherlock's room. He closed his eyes and

pictured the scene: Sherlock's standing in front of the window staring at the street when John walks in and runs towards him. Sherlock

opens his arms and then... No! John opened his eyes. "I'm not here to see him, no! I have to fight the urge to see him. I'll just stay a

few minutes with Mrs Hudson and that's all. Just a few minutes with the woman" Carefully he crossed the road and stood outside the

door. He was ready to knock when suddenly the door opened and Mrs Hudson appeared with her hands open ready to give him a big

hug. "Oh you came! I knew you'd come. You're such a good young man! Thank you! Come...Come inside please, it's cold outside" She

took his hand and closed the door behind him. "I did as you told me. Sherlock's still in his bed. You don't have to worry he won't notice

us. Sit down by the fireplace. Look! The cake you asked me! Do you want some tea my dear? Of course you do, look at you! You're still

freezing!" John was not talking. He just stood there with is hands still in his pockets wondering what was Sherlock doing upstairs. Mrs

Hudson thought she made a start by making him come back home for a visit. She knew very well that John wanted to come. He wanted

to feel Sherlock's presence. He wanted to breath the air he was breathing. He let the woman say all the kind of things she wanted to

say and he was just smiling at her politely. When he finished his tea he stood up. "I'm sorry Mrs Hudson but I have to go. A friend of

mine is waiting for me in the hotel. Thank you so much for the lovely talk. Maybe we could do that again sometime!" His voice was

trembling and he had no idea why. Maybe because he was lying. He had nowhere to go, noone was waiting for him. He just wanted to

get out of this house. "I'll tell you what by boy" said Mrs Hudson, "you want to come back, I can tell. This is your home and it always will

be. The door is open for you. Here's your key. Just take it. Keep it in your pocket. If you feel the need to breath the air of Baker street

again you know that you have a place to stay. Now go!" She smiled at him and kissed his forehead. John rushed out of the door. The

fog was gone and some drops of rain kissed his face. "Goodbye Baker street" he said and took the road to the hotel...


	3. Chapter 3

Sherlock was wide awake when Mrs Hudson came to bring him his breakfast. She left the small tray in the table near Sherlock's bed

and opened the curtains. There wasn't much light coming from the window and Sherlock appreciated. He loved a cloudy day. He stared

at Mrs Hudson as she was pouring the hot tea to his cup. "Mrs Hudson..." his voice was deep, deeper than ever " he was here, _wasn't _

_he_?" The woman blushed and quickly raised her eyes from the table and looked at him. She opened her mouth as if she wanted to say

something but the words wouldn't come out. How could she lie to him? "I know you're probably trying to think of a good lie to tell me

but _**don't**_. Please don't lie to me Mrs Hudson. John was here, I know it, I sensed it. I...**_I can smell him all over you_**..." he was no longer

looking at the woman. He was looking in the past when John was there having breakfast with him. Mrs Hudson stood up and run

downstairs closing the door behind her. She didn't want him to see her cry. Sherlock took his place in front of the closed window. "He

was here" he thought. "_**John came back home. He came back...to me**_." He's voice was breaking down and big tear drops formed to his

eyes. He didn't care. He wasn't himself anymore. He was just an ordinary man. How could he do that to John? What was he thinking?

He had to do something. He had to find John, talk to him. Suddenly he liked that idea. Quickly he asked Mrs Hudson to bring him his

clothes. The woman was surprised watching Sherlock in a mood like that, eating and shaving after all that time. "What happened

Sherlock?" she asked nervously. "Today Mrs Hudson...Today is the day...Today John will return in 221b Baker street and he will never

leave again. Believe me!" He opened the top drawer of his desk and put a small piece of paper in his pocket. Then, he turned around

and smiled at Mrs Hudson. He gave her a smile so true that she smiled back at him. "I believe you my boy..." she said and he walked

out of the room...

* * *

John was back at the hotel room. He tried not to think of anything, to clear his head from all the thoughts that made him sad but he

couldn't. He was laying on the bed with his eyes looking at the ceiling. He couldn't make the thoughts go away. He went back in time

with his mind...Sherlock was ready to jump, to make his final step and John was looking at him, unable to do anything, screaming his

name, trying to make him stop but he didn't. He didn't stop. Next think he remembers was his friend laying on the pavement, blood all

over him, people screaming near him and nurses trying to make room for the doctors to come. That was his friend. He was dead. He

died there in front of his eyes and he did nothing to help him. "I'm a useless bastard" he kept saying. "I couldn't save him, I couldn't.

He's dead..._**Oh God, he's dead**_!"

* * *

Sherlock opened the door of 221b and breathed the air of Baker street after a lot of time. He raised his hand quickly and stopped the

first cab he saw. He opened the door and rushed in giving the driver the address of John's hotel. He was nervous and thinking about

the things he wanted to say to John made him even more nervous. He put his hand in his pocket and made sure the piece of paper

was still there. That little piece of paper was proof. "It's like solving a crime." he thought "I have to make John believe me like I do with

the police. I give all the proof they need to find the criminal. That's exactly what I have to do with John too. The thing is that this is not

a game about criminals. _**This is a game about**_..." he stopped. Yes. It was the first time it seemed so clear to him. "Sherlock Holmes _**HAS**_

feelings..." It was the first time to say or even think of something like that...


	4. Chapter 4

"Sir there is a man here wishing to see you. He says you're expecting him." The receptionist's voice was sweet and tender. That girl

was flirting with him from his first day at the hotel. She was nice and cute but it really wasn't a good time for him to have a girlfriend

or...a relationship. "I know. Please let him in." Lestrade called him yesterday telling him that he was leaving London for a while and he

wanted to say goodbye before he leaves. John took a deep breath and opened the door as soon as it knocked. He wanted some

company and he was pleased to see Lestrade but when he opened the door it wasn't him standing there. "H-Hello John..." Sherlock's

voice was shaking. "Can I come in...Please?" John looked at him with surprise. He wasn't ready for that meeting yet. He didn't know

what to say or what to do. He just stepped aside and let him walk into the room. Sherlock made his way to the window and stood

there facing outside. " What are you doing here?" John's voice was cold, he tried hard to make it look that way. "I have to talk to you

John, tell you some really important things. Things that you never heard before from me and I don't think you expect to hear. I'll...I'll try

to be brief, I don't want to keep you with my nonsense." He was staring John now, straight to his eyes and he made him shiver.

"Please just listen to me and don't interrupt me because I'm not so sure that I'll be able to start over again if you do..." Sherlock

seemed so vulnerable. "Ok then I'll say what I have to say before you start so it won't be difficult for you" John took a deep breath and

made a step closer to Sherlock. "Sherlock I thought you dead. I cried over your grave. I talked to you before I go to sleep. I mourned

for you. You were dead, I...I saw you!" He wasn't able to keep his tears anymore. He let them out and looked at his visitor "One day

I'm crying over you and suddenly you open the door and walk in telling me you're not a ghost, laughing at my expression. _Don't cry my_

_Watson,_ you said, _it's me, Sherlock Holmes, and I am alive! You should be thankful of that, don't cry!_ How could you do that to me Sherlock?How could

you? You knew that I...I..." John couldn't finish his sentence. He stood there looking at Sherlock, waiting for him to speak, to tell him a good excuse and

forgive him. After a few minutes Sherlock started " I did what I did to protect you John. That must sound silly to you but it's the truth. I had to leave you

because you were in great danger living with me. I couldn't risk it anymore. I had to do something to get out of your life without causing you any more

pain. I wasn't expecting you to react that way to my death. I wasn't! I wandered to Baker street every night looking at your window, I wanted to see

you, see how you are holding up. I wanted to come back to you, open the door and make you forget of everything that happened. Make you forget all

the pain I caused you because you were not the only one in pain. I was in pain too. It hurt me John, I couldn't bear being away from you. John I...I..."

Sherlock raised his eyes and looked straight at John's eyes. He went close to him and whispered "I love you John. I did what I did because I love you

and I wanted to protect you. I love you, I always did. I was selfish not telling you from the begging. Here...I wrote you this" he said and gave him the

piece of paper from his pocket. "Read it as soon as I leave please and remember that I really love you. I don't know what else to say. I'm really really

sorry and I mean it" He looked at him once more and then he rust out the door running to the stairs. John was standing in the middle of the room

holding the paper not knowing what to do. Suddenly he opened it and read it.

_**I'm leaving town John. I can't bear it anymore knowing that you breathe the same air with me, that you're just a few steps away from **_

_**me and I can't reach you. I guess it will be easier for me to go. For good this time...Don't forget that I do love you John. **_

_**Sherlock**_

John was crying more than ever. He knew what he had to do. He run to the stairs screaming at Sherlock's name. He couldn't let him go

away, not again, he couldn't. He run and run pushing the people blocking his way and finally he saw him. He was ready to get in a car

and leave. "Sherlock!" he screamed and remembered the last time he screamed his name so loud. It was moments before Sherlock's

last step into nothingness. Sherlock heard him and stopped. John opened the door quickly and run into him. "Sherlock..." he whispered.

"Don't leave me again, please. Please Sherlock. I need you. Don't you dare leave me again." His eyes were teary again as he opened

his arms to hug Sherlock. Sherlock took a deep breath and placed his hands in John's face wiping the tears of his eyes. "I will never

leave you again. I'm so sorry..." he said and he kissed him softly...


End file.
